Before I get started let me give you a slight disclaimer. You see about 4 hours ago I sat down and wrote the most magnificent draft of this post, or at least the first 500 and some words of one, and when I went to save the draft my internet died and I lost EVERYTHING. Every single word. I then spent 2 hours eating a belated dinner and talking to my grandparents before returning, but back to the disclaimer. So I figure there are only 2 possibilities A) This new version of what I wrote previously will be but a shadow of the original masterpiece or B) This new assembly of words will be exponentially better than the first. However, since I don’t know which yet, I guess we’ll just have to see.
There are many reasons we “like” a guy (In most cases genders can be reversed.) Yet none of these reasons, on their own, merit a position as the foundation for the desire for a relationship. Collectively, perhaps, but definitely not singularly. I’ve discussed 5 of these reasons below:
- Physical Attraction. While one of the most popular reasons behind interest in males, it is one of the WORST reasons to want a relationship. You would think that Beauty and the Beast would have taught us – the pretty ones can be stupid jerks and the less than stunning guys can be our prince charming in disguise! (I know, advice from Disney?!?! It seems wrong somehow, doesn’t it)
- Bad Boy vs. Best Guy Friend. Admit it, both of these options can seem like good options, but they both have their risks. If you’re into “Bad Boys” all I can really say is BEWARE!!! They are called bad boys for a reason. If you are, however, starting to develop feelings for you best friend, take a moment and think about this SERIOUSLY, before you go any farther! There are so many risks when you like your close friends. There is the possibility of disaster at every turn because if you like them but they don’t return the feelings it could cause weird tension between you, make things exceedingly awkward, and could cause your friendship to fall apart on the other hand, if they like you too and you decide to take your relationship to that next level you are at a high risk of your friendship being destroyed forever if/when you break up.
- Personality. Yes, you DO want someone with a great personality, this can’t be denied, but be aware that if the main thing that attracts you to people is “confidence” (as it is in my case…sigh) You will soon start to realize that all of the people you “like” stand up for their ideas/answers/etc. (even when they are blatantly wrong,) act rather immature from time to time, are loud, and do ridiculous things. If you are ok with this, go ahead! Go for the strong personality, just realize that it will, from time to time, be exhaustingly annoying (at least it has been in my experience, patience is important in ALL relationships of every variety.)
- “I don’t know WHY I like him, I just do.” No you don’t “just like him.” There IS a reason and you need to figure it out before you do ANYTHING else. Seriously. I realize that everyone in the universe has at least thought these words, even if they haven’t actually said them, and there is ALWAYS a reason.
- “He makes me feel special.” Yay, good for you, you’ve found a guy who can flirt your heart right into his hands. It’s time for you to back up and take some time to answer 2 important questions 1) Does he treat all (or multiple) girls like this? and 2) Why? There are pretty much two answers to both of these questions for question #1 you’ve either got “yes” or “no” #2 however, is a little more complex. If he makes you feel special because you’ve got some great relationship, you need to back up and reread what I said about dating your best friend, if however, your reasons are more physical (oh calm your jets and get your mind out of the gutter, I mean like sitting near you, leaning towards you when he’s near, standing close when he’s talking to you…you know all of those tiny things that we, as girls, pick up on and automatically let our minds turn into monumentally huge events even though they are most likely nothing.) be aware and don’t let your mind get carried away with itself.
While I’ve discussed the negative sides of reasons we like guys, the main problem is not the reasons individually, but the singularity of them. As I said before, they can, when combined, create a decent reason to want a relationship with a guy. The main problem is that when one of these reasons are true the mind has the ability to “create” other reasons. I know, it’s crazy. All of this is to say I think relationships are all about the risk, because ALL relationships have risk. Yes, it IS dangerous to take a risk on a relationship, but that’s part of the fun, right?